I am not a ‘mommy’ blogger

Posted on June 18, 2012

For one thing, I’m way past being called ‘mommy’. It’s just mom now, my teenage and young adult children understanding what Prince Charles apparently does not, that after a certain age calling your mother ‘mommy’ makes everyone else uncomfortable and makes you look like a dweeb. Anyway…

I’m also not a mommy blogger because I don’t intend to talk about what kind of diapers are best, whether your child is ready to potty train, how to pick the right daycare, whether gymnastics or hockey are better options for your girl child, or how to lose that baby fat and find time for yourself. These issues are all important to your children and potentially your own sanity, but they are choices that have little relevance when your  daughter is making a decision about dating the guy who’s got more piercings than buttonholes, or your fifteen year old son is choosing whether or not to accept the beer offered him at the party he’s not supposed to be at.

So I’m not a mommy blogger. What I am, is a mother of four children ranging in age from 15 to 21. We seemed to have successfully navigated the worst of the teenage years. In fact these years have been substantially worry free. Sometimes I think we’re just lucky. And then I look at some of the parenting around me and think, well maybe not

And that is the point of this blog.

The constant negative media and societal attitude towards ‘kids these days’ is not only unfair, it’s laying blame at the feet of children, who, let’s face it, are attempting to navigate a rather twisted world that we adults have created. Furthermore, children are turning out exactly as they’re being raised to be. In some instances that means they are well-rounded, respectful young people who care about the important, sometimes existential things in life. In other instances, well, not so much. And the latter seem to be the focus of a contempt that does little to lift them out of their behaviour toward being responsible and thoughtful adults.

The solution as I see it: stop throwing up your hands in disgust and start parenting them. Take responsibility for who they’ve become and change the way in which you approach their world. Make the choices necessary to be a parent. A good one. Because let’s face it,  no matter how much the self-esteem machine has induced us into a torpor of self- indulgent back patting, there are bad parents out there who take perfectly formed small people and create monsters out of them.

But enough about blame.

My plan (and other than parenting four children and observing the actions of others I have no professional qualifications to do so) is to examine why ‘kids these days’ seem to be running amuck and derive from anecdotal observation of parenting just why it is ‘parents these days’ are failing their children and how they might choose to engage in meaningful parenting before it is too late.

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